10 Things to do for Someone with Depression:
Being around someone with clinical depression can be very hard, and often extremely frustrating. But remember that like any illness, Depression does not define the person, it’s just a condition that they have…and like any chronic illness you can’t just talk them out of it. I mean you wouldn’t say to someone, “oh we all get cancer sometimes, you just need to get over it and move on!”
But there are a few simple, human, things that you CAN do, to give some support and make a difference. And YOU will feel better too, knowing that there is something real that you can do! One of my personal favourites is flowers…like these beautiful yellow roses I bought at the supermarket today! Here are some more ideas:
- Get them MOVING, exercise or go to the gym together
- Get them OUT OF THEIR HOUSE, and into the SUNSHINE, go for walks in beautiful places, or art galleries, or similar. They may not feel like being in contact with other people, and that’s ok, the most important thing if they are severely depressed is to change the physical environment. Don’t TALK too much if you sense that it is stressing them out. Your company is probably enough.
- DON’T let them spend TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR OWN. If you haven’t heard from them for a while…GO AROUND…don’t just text or email…bang on the door, and say “Hey, what’s happening, haven’t heard from you in a while?” Don’t worry if you get a grumpy response. Once again, don’t TALK too much; don’t try to fill up the silence. Give them a safe space to open up if they want to.
- Get them to LAUGH…arrange to watch funny movies with them, or watch stand-up comedy videos.
- Listen to vibrant, UPBEAT MUSIC together
- Encourage them into their CREATIVE OUTLET, whatever it may be…writing, painting, drawing, cooking, wood work, design, fixing things, doing music compilations, play music, digital art, taking photos, film making, gardening, dog training…everyone has something that serves as a creative outlet…help them to find it and sit back as they spend time with it…
- DON’T try to talk them out of it. Would you try to talk someone out of Cancer or Diabetes? All you have to do is just BE there.
- Take them FOOD. Say, “I just found this great new organic/vegetarian/pizza/whatever place…really wanted to try it with you…what do you think?”
- Remember that Depression is something that they HAVE, NOT something that they ARE.
- Be aware that there is a ‘normal’ depression, usually attributable to external events or conditions, and there is ‘clinical/biological/endogenous’ depression, which is more internally based and needs to be regarded more as a dis-ease, like diabetes or cancer. We also need to remember that it does not necessarily DEFINE the person who deals with it. As much as it can be problematic, it can also be a learning, and therefore enriching, life experience.Dianne Povey